You Can Still Be Free
by FrEeLaNcEr1
Summary: Syd's thoughts on Danny and Vaughn. S/V fluff piece.


You Can Still Be Free  
  
Song By: Savage Garden  
  
  
  
It was back to haunt her. The day that she dreaded the most. Two years ago, today, Danny died. That morning, Sydney was up before dawn to take her usual jog, because she couldn't sleep at all. She was up most of the night, remembering Danny and crying. Francie was already asleep, so she didn't hear any of this. She grabbed her headset and left her roommate a quick note.  
  
Hey Fran,  
  
I just had to get out for a while. I'll be back soon.  
  
-Sydney  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ During her jog  
  
Instead of taking her normal route, she decided to take a longer one to the cemetery. She ran all the way to his grave and when she got there, she couldn't hold it back anymore. She just fell to her knees and had a complete break down. She had promised herself that she would keep it together, but it was more than she could handle.  
  
"Hey Danny. You may or may not know this, but I'm the reason that you were killed. It's because I told you about where I actually worked. I shouldn't have told you. Then maybe today, you would still be alive. Then maybe we could've had that happy life together that we'd always dreamed of. We'd be married and I would've quit my job, so I could be your wife. I would give up anything just to see you face again." Just then she knew that she lied and she couldn't stand it, because as much as she loves Danny, there was another. She just couldn't face the truth. The truth is that if she were to go back to a life with Danny, she'd choose the one she has. It's all because of one person...Vaughn. She cursed her self for thinking this at Danny's grave, on the anniversary of his death. At the same time, she couldn't bear lying to Danny. She had to tell him.  
  
"O god Danny, my life got so messed up after your death. I missed you like crazy and I still do, but I did find out some truths. Like the people that I work aren't who they say they are and so, now, I'm working against them, to bring them down. Not only because they screwed me over, but in the process, they killed you. That's one thing that I'll never forget, but any way...I think I lied when I just told you that I would give up anything to see you again. Not that I wouldn't, but I think I'm actually enjoying a small part of my life. That part has to do with work, of course. First off, my father and I are getting closer and I am so grateful for that. Secondly, I found out that my mom isn't really dead, that she just faked it. And now, she's under the custody of the CIA, and we are actually learning about each other. It feels good to see her again. I mean, I am far from trusting her, especially after she shot me and killed so many people...Which brings me to my third point. One of the people that she killed is my handler's father. Vaughn - that's his name - still agreed to work with me, even after finding this out. I don't get how he does it, knowing all of this. He's been so supportive of me in whatever I've wanted to do. He kind of reminds me a lot of you." Sydney looks at her watch. She's been there for almost two hours. Francie would be getting worried.  
  
"Um, Danny I'd better leave, but I'll be back okay? Love you." She was praying to god to send her a clue that everything in her life will work out, sooner or later. She had almost told Danny that she had feelings for Vaughn, but should she? Should she even have those feelings, let alone telling Danny? She wasn't even sure that she was over Danny and she couldn't let another man that she loves get hurt, or worse, die. She couldn't.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ By the time she got home, Francie was already up.  
  
"Hey Syd. How was your jog?"  
  
"Fine. Coffee?"  
  
"Yea sure. Thanks. Did you go see Danny?"  
  
Sydney's eyes started tearing up and she was trying so hard not to cry. Finally she just gave in. She felt Francie's arms pulling her into a hug.  
  
"Oh honey. It's okay. Shh."  
  
After she stopped crying, she figured that she would be late for work, so she started to get ready. Just then she got a phone call.  
  
"I got it" Francie said, as she ran to answer the phone. "Hey Syd. That was the bank saying that you could get the day off."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah. They said that there wasn't going to be anything out of the ordinary, today, so you could stay in. I think you deserve it. Hey I can take the day off, too and we can have a girl's day or something."  
  
"No Fran. I think it would be a lot of trouble for you to close the restaurant and I think I just want to be alone."  
  
"Syd, the restaurant doesn't matter. You do and you may need me, especially today."  
  
"Fran, I'll be fine. I just want sometime to myself. Tell you what. I'll drop by the restaurant for lunch and then you can take a long break with me. Okay?  
  
"Fine." She hugs Sydney and gets up to leave. "Bye, hon."  
  
"Yea. See you later."  
  
Almost as soon as she leaves, she calls in to let the CIA know that she won't be coming in for work that day. "Kendall, it's Agent Bristow. I'm not going to come in for work today."  
  
"What? Why? We need you here."  
  
"SD-6 gave me a day off and I'm taking a personal day off from you guys. Got it?"  
  
"Agent Bristow you have no right-"  
  
"Kendall, SHUT UP!" Then she hung up on him. That S.O.B. didn't even want to give her a day off, when SD-6 actually gave her a day off. That's really ironic. She figured that Kendall was going to take this up with Vaughn. O well, he can handle it. Then, she went searching for the photo albums filled with pictured of Danny and a little box of memoirs.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the CIA office.  
  
Kendall bursts into Vaughn's office, to find him doing paper work, while listening to Weiss talk about another one of his dates.  
  
Vaughn looked up, "Yes?"  
  
"Your agent yelled at me, refused to come into work, today, and hung up on me!"  
  
"I expected that." Vaughn and Weiss were trying to hold their laughter in.  
  
"Did she tell you?"  
  
"No, but it should be quite obvious, if you've read her file."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Today's the anniversary of the death of her fiancée. And SD-6 must have given her a day off, or else, she would never take such a big risk. Am I right?"  
  
"Yea, yea." Kendall closes the door and leaves. As soon as he does this, he hears Vaughn and Weiss laughing their asses off.  
  
"Man, your agent has got some guts, yelling at Kendall, taking a day off, and hanging up on him. I have a whole new respect for Agent Bristow."  
  
"Yea, I know what you mean. I can't believe that he brought it up with me, though."  
  
"Maybe if he would just read her file and then he wouldn't get so riled up, every time."  
  
"I, however, think that Syd actually likes pissing him off."  
  
"I know I do."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back at Sydney's home. She found the box that she had been looking for. She starts looking through it and cries even more. She misses Danny so much and she's so confused. She wills herself to stop crying, but feels really sleepy. She turns the radio on, in hopes that it would help her to fall asleep quickly. It works and she fell asleep as soon as the second song came on.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Her dream @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
Sydney finally wakes up, but it isn't her bed. She isn't even sure if this is Earth. She sees a person, so she walks up behind him and asks him, "Where am I?"  
  
He turns around. "You're with God."  
  
That face is so familiar and all of a sudden, it becomes clear. "O My God! Danny?"  
  
"Yeah, baby" He pulls her into a hug and she starts crying.  
  
"Danny, aren't you dead? Not that I'm not glad to see you."  
  
"Yes I am."  
  
"So does that mean that I'm dead, too?"  
  
"No, I just wanted to see you and tell you something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sydney, honey I know that you love me, but I also know you. You were going to tell me something at the grave. What is it?"  
  
"You were at the grave?" He nods. "And what makes you think that I wanted to tell you something. I told you everything I wanted to."  
  
"Sweetie, do me a favor and don't lie to me. I can see through it, any way. And I saw the way that you were talking about Vaughn. I know that you have feelings for him."  
  
She looks up at him with a surprised look on her face. "How?"  
  
"Come on, this is me, Danny. You could never hide anything like that from me."  
  
"True. But I don't think I have really strong feelings about him, like I did for you."  
  
"Yea you do. Now do you want to tell me what this is all about, or do I have to drag it out of you?"  
  
"Look, I don't think that I can tell him how I feel, because I'm not over you yet, and it wouldn't be fair to him."  
  
"I think I know what you actually mean by that. You think that loving him means that you love me less. Well, am I right?"  
  
"Yea."  
  
"Sydney, look at me." He looks right into her eyes. "I know that you love me, but I want you to be happy. I want you to have a happy life and if that means that you may be with someone else, then so be it. I love you and I only want what's best for you."  
  
"Danny, what about you? I feel guilty enough that I'm telling you all of this. Doesn't it hurt you that I have feelings for another person?"  
  
"I told you that I want what's best for you. I can deal with the fact that you will be with someone other than me, but I don't want you to feel guilty on my behalf. That will only make me feel even more guilty and then we're going to have more conversations like this."  
  
"Okay. All right."  
  
"I've gotta go now. I love you."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ End Dream @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
Sydney jumps up, out of her bed. Did she just have a dream about Danny telling her to move on? She realizes that the radio is still on.  
  
Cool breeze and autumn leaves  
  
Slow motion daylight  
  
A lone pair of watchful eyes  
  
Oversee the living  
  
Feel the presence all around  
  
A tortured soul  
  
A wound unhealing  
  
No regrets or promises  
  
The past is gone  
  
But you can still be free  
  
If time will set you free  
  
Sydney's POV That sounds exactly like what Danny was trying to tell me. Should I really just tell Vaughn? It feels like I'm betraying my love to Danny. But remember what Danny told you. He loves you and he wants you to be happy.  
  
Time now to spread you wings  
  
To take flight  
  
The life endeavor  
  
Aim for the burning sun  
  
You're trapped inside  
  
But you can still be free  
  
If time will set you free  
  
But it's a long way to go  
  
Of course. But the question I ask myself is, do I really love Vaughn and will telling him make me happy?  
  
Keep moving way up high  
  
You see the light  
  
It shines forever  
  
Sail through the crimson skies  
  
The purest light  
  
The light that sets you free  
  
If time will set you free  
  
Okay. I know for sure that I love him, but what about protocol? I can't tell him!  
  
Sail through the wind and rain tonight  
  
You're free to fly tonight  
  
And you can still be free  
  
If time will set you free  
  
And going higher than mountain tops  
  
And go high the wind don't stop  
  
And go high  
  
Free to fly tonight  
  
Free to fly tonight  
  
You know what? Screw protocol. My so-called job has taken so many things away from me. This one, I'm going to keep. I'm going to tell Vaughn that I love him.  
  
She dialed the number that she knew so well. "Vaughn, can you meet me at the warehouse in an hour?"  
  
"Sydney? Are you okay?"  
  
"Yea, but can you meet me?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
She went to take a shower. *I am going to tell Vaughn that I love him! Then again, should I? Does he feel the same way? Will he be replaced as my handler? Wait a minute you're getting ahead of yourself. Vaughn cares for you and would never do anything to hurt you. And he knows that if he gets replaced as my handler, it would hurt me. But will he be uncomfortable? We both would be, if only one of us feels this. Screw that I'm going to tell him any way.* She grabbed her coat, before she got another chance to change her mind.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the warehouse...  
  
As usual, Vaughn was there, waiting for her. The worry wrinkles on his forehead were obviously seen. He thought that something had gone seriously wrong or maybe, she was having a tough time dealing with Danny. He didn't know what to say. He didn't even know the man. He would have no way to comfort her, if she needed him to. O well, she needed him he'd be damned if he was going to let anything stop him. He looked up, hearing those familiar footsteps. "Hey"  
  
"Hi Vaughn. Thanks for coming so quickly."  
  
"Yea. No problem. Is something wrong?"  
  
"Kind of, but probably not the way you think."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I had a dream about Danny."  
  
"Well, what happened?"  
  
"He told me that I need to move on. That I need to live a happy life. I asked him how I can do that, without him in it, but he told me that he wanted me to be happy, even if it is without him and with someone else. Which brings me to my next point." She paused, wondering whether she should tell him or not. She looked into his eyes and could tell that he was really worried about her and that he cared for her a lot. It's now or never. "Vaughn, he straight out told me that he knew that I have feelings for someone other than him. Now, I usually don't believe in dreams, but this seemed so real. And all of the stuff he knew and said, it was like the real Danny was doing all of this."  
  
He put his arm around Sydney. She loved that. "Syd, I believe you. And I think he's right. If you have feelings for someone else, then tell him. It's okay. I mean I'm sure that the person understands how much Danny means to you and that no one could replace him in your heart, but if you make each other happy, then tell him. I could stand to see you a little more happy, once in a while, you know? Maybe he'll be making my job easier." He joked.  
  
She smiled and then looked right into his eyes. "Vaughn, the person I have feelings for is you. I'm in love with you Vaughn. I mean I know that you're my handler and all, but you have been there for me whenever I needed and you remind me a lot of Danny."  
  
Vaughn just sat there in awe. This amazing, beautiful woman loves him. His heart was soaring. "Wow, Syd. I never knew that you felt all of this. And believe it or not, I feel the same way about you. Ever since you first walked into my life, I knew that I was in love with you. I just didn't want tell you."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Well, a lot of reasons. Protocol, you may die, you would be uncomfortable with it, you wouldn't feel the same way, you may hate me, you may replace me as your handler. So I figured that I should just wait until SD-6 has been brought down, because, by that time, I could figure out if I should tell you and if you never wanted to see me, it would be easier for the both of us. And if you did feel something for me, our lives wouldn't be in danger, like they are right now."  
  
"Vaughn, is anyone watching us?"  
  
"No I swept the place for bugs, before you came."  
  
"Then we are totally safe, as long as no one else finds out. Now unless you're planning on telling someone, then we're safe."  
  
"Yea. I guess you're right." He was caught by her gaze and felt himself leaning in for a kiss. She was doing the same. Their lips finally met, with a spark that neither of them had ever felt. It started out innocently, but quickly intensified. She wanted him and he wanted her. That's all that mattered. He then felt her arms climbing around her back and up into his hair. His own hands were caressing her hair and pulling her in closer and closer until there was no more space between them. They finally had to pull apart, as air became a necessity.  
  
They both blushed a deep shade of scarlet and just smiled. They loved each other and nothing else mattered. They just stayed in each other's arms until Vaughn's beeper beeped.  
  
"It's Kendall."  
  
"Figures. He always ruins our moments. You know? I mean ever since we've met him."  
  
"True. I wanted to ask you. Is it actually true that you yelled at him, refused to come into work and hung up on him?"  
  
She chuckles. "Well, he was getting on my nerves and he was telling me to come into work today? I think not, so I interrupted him, told him to shut up, and then hung up on him."  
  
"You've gotta have guts to do that."  
  
"Look at who you're talking to here."  
  
He grins. "True. Very true. And by the way, Weiss and I respect you in a whole new view, now."  
  
They both laugh at that.  
  
"Hey, if you gotta go, it's okay."  
  
"Nah, it's only Kendall. He can deal."  
  
"No, you should go. We don't want him getting too suspicious and besides, I have to go have lunch with Francie, any way."  
  
"Okay. See you tomorrow?"  
  
"Yea."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you, too." She kissed him one last time and walked away. 


End file.
